Bruce and Cat's Fancy Adventure
by The-Riddler95
Summary: When Fish Mooney's fanciest dresses go missing and she's forced to dress like a normal person, Bruce and Cat go on a hilarious adventure to get them back. (Featuring Harley Quinn!)


(The story is set while Cat is staying at Wayne Manor)

Bruce sat on his bed with his legs dangling over the edge, like he always did when he was thinking. This time, he was thinking about Cat. She had gone off to do something and told him she'd be back. She had been gone for a while now.

Without a sound, Cat landed on Bruce's window and jumped onto his bedroom floor.

"Guess what, Kid?" she beamed with a smile. "You and I are going on an adventure!"

Bruce turned around, surprised. "Wh-What do you mean?"

"I was going by Fish Mooney's nightclub, and someone had stolen her stupid Lady Gaga dresses. She's super angry that she had to dress like a normal person, so she's offering a reward for whoever can find her dresses!"

"How are we going to do that?"

Cat got close to Bruce and yelled in his ear, "WITH AN ADVENTURE!"

Bruce nodded hesitantly and backed away a little bit. "What for?"

Cat sighed. "Tell you what. If you help me get the reward, I'll let you kiss me."

"Ummm…"

"That's not a 'no'! Okay, first we have to sneak past your butler."

After going down the staircase of Wayne Manor, Bruce summoned his butler Alfred and tried to get him to run an errand for the rest of the day.

"Alfred, um… I want you to… ummm…"

Cat got tired of Bruce. She pushed him aside and thought of a chore. "Count all the bricks in Wayne Manor!"

Alfred sighed tiredly, having dealt with Cat's shenanigans before. "Just do whatever you want, as long as you bring Master Bruce home alive."

The first place Bruce and Cat decided to investigate was Don Maroni's restaurant. Fish Mooney always hated Oswald Cobblepot, one of Maroni's friends, so it was a good place to start.

They walked until they reached the door of the diner, and Cat turned to Bruce and put her hands on his shoulders. "Let me handle this. I don't think you have the people skills for this."

Bursting through the door, Cat yelled loud enough to make everyone in the diner stop and stare at her. "Attention, everyone! Where is Oswald Cobblepot? We need to have a word with him!"

After a few diner customers yelling some very rude things about Cat's mother, Oswald limped forward to the center of the diner, looking around suspiciously.

"Who are you two?" he asks.

"What's wrong with your leg?" Cat exclaims, trying to stop herself from bursting out laughing.

"What's wrong with your pants?" Oswald growls, referring to Cat's ripped jeans.

With Cat not able to stop laughing, Bruce stepped forward and shoved her behind him. "We were wondering if you knew anything about Fish Mooney's missing dresses."

"Why would I help you?"

"We'll give you a portion of the reward."

That stopped Cat from laughing. "Hey, wait a minute."

Oswald put his hand up and limped toward Bruce and Cat, forcing Cat to stifle more giggles. "I don't know anything about it, but if I were you, I would talk to my friend Jim Gordon. He's a detective in the Gotham City Police Department. He'll know something about this."

"Your voice sounds like Olaf the Snowman!" Cat burst out before running out of the diner.

Bruce thanked Oswald and ran after Cat.

After they left, Don Maroni walked out of the kitchen and stared at Oswald. "You look like you've just seen a ghost, what's wrong?"

Oswald turned around and sighed. "I don't know why, but I just have this feeling that by not shooting that kid, my life in maybe ten years is going to suck…."

Next, Cat and Bruce stopped by the GCPD and rang the front desk.

"Jim Gordon, please." said Bruce. The man at the desk narrowed his eyebrows and growled.

Cat sighed. "Oh my god, Bruce. This isn't a freaking hotel; you don't have to say please."

Bruce nodded. "Oh right." He turned back to the man at the front desk and said, "Get me Jim Gordon!"

The man growled and twitched his head to one of the desks in the back. "He's over there."

Wading through the crowd of policemen, all glaring the two of them, Bruce and Cat made their way to Jim Gordon's desk, where they saw him and some old dude with a beard and fedora.

"Hey Jim!" Cat beamed. "Who's the old dude with the fedora?"

Jim sighed and got up off the chair.

Bullock giggled a little bit behind his beard. "Okay Jim, we've got to get you some friends. That, or you have a weird thing with kids involved in our cases."

Jim growled at him and turned to Bruce and Cat. "I'm kind of busy, where's Alfred?"

"That's not important." said Cat. "What do you know about Fish Mooney's missing dresses?"

Jim started to remember the case from the morning of the same day. "Oh yeah. Fish called us about those dresses."

"And…?"

"Well, this is a homicide division, and everyone hated those dresses-"

Bullock cleared his throat loudly.

"Most of us hated those dresses, so we just hung up on her."

Bullock started in on the conversation. "If you're trying to solve this mystery for Fish, try seeing Ed. He likes puzzles."

Edward Nygma just happened to be passing by when Bullock said that, and got closer to listen in. "What puzzle are you talking about?"

Bruce stepped forward to talk to Ed. "We were hoping you could help us locate Fish Mooney's missing dresses."

Ed thought for a little bit. "What's small as a bug and weak as string, but can make itself matter more than anything?"

"Your mom." Cat sung, making Bullock laugh out loud.

"A flea." said Bruce, after thinking for a while.

Ed pointed and smiled. "Exactly."

"The Flea is where the homeless kids hang out." Cat whispered to Bruce.

"This morning, I saw a fur boa outside of the Flea." Ed said.

Bruce and Cat nodded and walked off for the Flea when Jim turned to Ed. "Bruce seems nice, doesn't he?"

Ed thought for a bit, staring at the boy walking off. "I couldn't tell you why, but I just have this feeling he's going to punch me in the face in maybe ten years."

Then Bullock punched Ed in the face.

Making their way down the steps to the Flea, Cat and Bruce soon found themselves following a trail of feather boas and ripped socks and weird goose hats. Every once in a while, Cat would pick up a weird hat or sock and make Bruce try it on with the promise of letting him kiss her afterwards. Then, Cat tried some stuff on. She strutted into the Flea in a necklace made of shark teeth and feathers entwined in her hair and goggles. Bruce walked into the Flea in a red pair of oversized sunglasses and a hat that looked like a coiled snake.

"Come on, Kid. We're almost there!"

"I seriously can't see in these glasses." Said Bruce, stumbling down the stairs. Finally, he tripped and knocked Cat over, the two of them rolling down the stairs. They landed with a thud, Cat on top of Bruce, when they heard a high-pitched laughing coming from the corner of the room.

Bruce and Cat looked up to see a little blonde girl around their age standing in front of them. She was dressed in Fish Mooney's oversized dress, with her hair in pigtails. The left pigtail was even dyed red with Fish's hair dye.

"Who are you?" Cat asked.

"Her name is Harley." Ivy walked over from the corner and draped her arm around Harley, who smiled. "She's new. We were playing dress-up."

Ivy was wearing one of Fish's green dresses that was way too big on her. A few feathers were stuck in her hair and shirt.

"Who's the boy? He's cute." Said Harley, making Bruce turn red.

"That's what I said." Ivy added.

Harley tilted her head suspiciously. "I don't know why, but something's telling me he's going to punch all of us in the face in about ten years."

Cat cut into their conversation. "Fish Mooney wants her dresses back. She is burning mad she has to dress like a normal person now."

"Fine, but I'm keeping this one." said Harley, holding up a red and black diamond skirt complete with a red and black clown hat.

Wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a t-shirt that looked weirdly normal, Fish turned to Butch.

"How do I look?" she asked.

Butch tried his best to smile and put his thumbs up.

Fish looked around the room, found a plastic bag, and put it over her head like a hat. "Now how do I look? Better?"

"I'm not gonna lie, Fish. You looked better before."

Fish tore the bag off her head and collapsed into a chair with her head in her palms, tears starting to well in her eyes. "You're right, Butch. I look terrible! I'm never going to be pretty again."

Just in that moment, Cat and Bruce walked into Fish's club, each holding an armful of her colorful dresses and jewelry.

"My dresses! You found them!" Fish exclaimed, bursting with happiness.

Cat smirked. "Were you crying?"

Fish held up a gun and pointed it at Cat, but then dropped it. "Ah, I'm so happy, I don't even want to kill you right now."

Bruce and Cat dropped the dresses on the counter and stood in front of Fish and Butch.

"It's been nice to meet you, Ms. Mooney." said Bruce.

Cat cleared her throat. "I believe we were promised a reward?"

Fish nodded. "I know. And your reward will be… makeovers!"

Alfred opened the door to find Bruce and Cat standing next to each other, each dressed in elaborate dresses and jewelry, the front of their hair dyed red.

Alfred sighed. "Detective Gordon mentioned assassins might be coming for you, but I really don't think I'm that lucky."


End file.
